something about tortoises, man

i hate this word. but like all words it has a meaning, ignore at your peril

“you gotta fly all these dinos back and let them get a good sear, another 5 minutes would do it”

i guess the final actual stage is “successfully delivered funny last words”

remember when i did stuff like two cops

sales would go through the roof if we could get the youth on board. maybe one of those “memes”

imagine tubers huffin a mound of that brown, that’s the new folgers challenge my good bitch

“my opponent will tell you i am acting in bad faith, but i posit that i am acting in good faith”

every pilot… has a story… of where the chair in his ship is from.

and it’s a very good story. it really is

“we’re gonna lose the rights to the sonic IP soon, can we bolt it onto a buddy cop comedy screenplay? solved. next action item”

Hollywood Reporter: James Marsden to Star in ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ Movie

good news for both of tony’s living fans

imagine two linked YT-1300 corellian freighters as podrace engines. now that’s a stars war movie

he’s a very strong and persuasive alpha male

“we have some deleted scenes from ant-man you could watch”

oops

and push

a list of problem areas will be sent to your co-workers and family to keep you accountable

imagine the slogan: “go to bed… and wake up a millionaire”

in researching this comic i discovered that “they tried to bury us; they forgot that we were seeds” is not a “mexican proverb” as commonly and vaguely attributed in memes, but a line by thessalonikian poet dinos christianopoulos, from the early 1960s

this has been your “poetry facts wednesday”

this game has its hooks in me deep, and one of the things i like is how it does NOT take it self seriously. yes we are curious about this new land, but there are magic cat helpers and a cute pig you can dress up, and of COURSE there’s the animal slaughter

can i just cut to the chase and ask you to like me? i don’t want to do the part where you’re not my friend yet

it’s a thrill-a-minute roller coaster ride that kept me on the edge of my maze

“now the other criminals sit on him.”

yes but italicizing a word doesn’t make it a twist

“in fact, if we eliminate the physical routing requirement entirely, the entire earth can be seen as a conceptual centipede”

nobel prize, anyone???

old diary entries, anything that could help us pinpoint the time and date of a sin and possible prayer about it. we don’t want the archdiocese involved if we can help it

“how was i supposed to know people would be upset by it, i didn’t think there would be real dead people inside a morgue”