- The makeover necessarily began with a choice of colors, so there are new ones everywhere. OK, not that many. The two blues used go together like the beautiful ocean and sky of the Moroccan coast, and we added a slightly orangey red which reminds us of the desert, at bit like FML which is populated uniquely by cactuses.

- In addition to colors, the overall design of the site will changed. You will discover new functions, all of it them more clear and with ergonomics worthy of a Top Gun fighter plane. No, there isn’t an “ejector seat" button for the comment trolls, but hopefully there will be soon.

- We’ve also brought a social side to the FML universe. You now have “Your FML", in the shape of a wall for your own personal anecdotes to share with your friends, but of course, without losing the homepage, your moderator votes, which lead to the publication of Almost FMLs, which can then become official FMLs. Yes, it sounds complicated, but it’s really not. To access all this stuff, like your own personal wall of shame (well, the ability to post your own FMLs privately), you’ll need an account. And know that now the account you have on FML will work on all our other websites (like the French and Spanish versions of FML, etc.)
 

Erm, and what if we're lost? Will everything work?

It might take a short while for you to get used to everything, an adaptation period will be required obviously, not only for you users, but also for certain functions. Such a major change to a website takes time, and there will be a couple of bugs. Which might not even be bugs. Buglets. For example:

- It is possible that some accounts may be duplicated, since everyone is now gathered globally. If you are having trouble signing in to your account, send us a short email to support@fmylife.com

- Your votes will take a long time to be reintegrated, so don't worry if you find that your account seems to not have voted on a lot of FMLs. All this will slowly come back to normal.

- Badges: same thing as for the votes. You’ll see that there are not as many "available" as before. In the end, there will be about 80, but with this launch, everything will not yet be in place and there will not be as many displayed as usual. Don’t worry: you’ll soon be back to hunting and unlocking those badges!
 

And what about my ranking? I'm Top Gun around here!

For the moderation enthusiasts who keep checking out their position in the ranks, it will no longer be a quarterly chart but a monthly one. We will also organize a Mod of the month contest, with things to win, but we’ll tell you a  bit more about that in a few days. The moderation ranking was reset to zero at the beginning of January, which was expected anyway, so now you can go for it, and vote, vote, vote and in a month, you might win something. We don’t know what yet, but it will be something between the matchbox and a Buick.

Well, that's about it for now. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask us, either in the comments under the article or at contact@fmylife.com.

And lastly... Happy New Year, FML style!

S-KRO'S ILLUSTRATED FML

Self-portrait S-Kro by S-Kro
 

This week, S-Kro is back amongst us for another great scientifically correct illustration. He has already been on here many, many times, so you could say he's part of the family. 

His info:

Who are you?
If anyone asks, just tell them that you don't know.

What do you do?
Well, I'm answering your questions.

Where do you come from?
The south of France.

How old are you?
36! (Yes, I've grown a year older since my last illustration for FML)

What's your favourite self-penned illustration? 
I'd have to the one explaining Star Wars scientifically, just because it's the last one I posted. Speaking of which, if anyone knows Roland Lehoucq (the astrophysicist that I quote in the comic), I'd be glad if they'd show it to him. 

Who is your favourite illustrator?
Hmmmm, there's quite few, so it's going to be tough to mention everybody. I'd say that the first that come to mind are Maëster, Coyote, Gotlib, Eric Powell, Toriyama, Todd MacFarlane, Greg Capullo, Eric Herenguel, Fabcaro, Julien Solé, Mo CDM, Monsieur le Chien…
 
Your passion, besides illustrating?
I discovered that science could be exciting and fun thanks to Bill Bryson's books in 2014, and I decided, at my very humble level, to launch myself into popularizing things that I understood (meaning not a lot, actually). I also read a lot of books and scientific articles during my spare time. And comic books too, obviously. 

Your favourite place in the world?
I was going to say something vulgar…

What gets on your nerves?
Loads of things. The list would be too long.

What makes you happy?
Simple things: a child's smile, my friends' laughter, the smell of a forest, the roundness of a pair of breasts… 

Who is your hero?
In the extraordinary people sense, I'd say Nikola Tesla, Richard Feynman or Stephen Hawking, but he's crap at basketball. And to avoid being a misogynist, I'd add Marie Curie, due to two Nobel prizes and lives saved on the battlefields!

Your favourite word?
"Ornithorynque" (French for Platypus), because I know how to spell it, and because it's worth loads of points at Scrabble.

What's your favourite smell?
Freshly cut grass.

The job you wouldnt've liked to have done?
The person who has to eviscerate trout or a worker in a factory line, because I hate repetitive tasks. 

If you had to take a book, a record, a comic book or movie on a desert island, which one would it be?
For the record, it would be a compilation with bands like Motörhead, Slayer, Nirvana, Bowie (yes, that's not a band, I know), Queen, Metallica, classical music (I strongly recommend the 3rd movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, I'm not kidding, it's really good). For the book, "A short history of nearly everything" by Bill Bryson, don't miss it. 

What would you like to sell to us this week?
I don't have anything to sell, not this week anyway…

If God exists, what would you like him to ask you after you die? 
"Hey, so is this how I created the Universe... Oh shit, I just deleted my back-up!" 

That's it for this week. Before we all leave to go and enjoy various Christmas and or/or holiday season parties, here's a few Christmas gifts !

- A cat cuddling a magic crystal to obtain evil powers

- The best Christmas song ever released

- How to wrap a gift

- Don't try this at home if you get one for Xmas

That'll be all for this week. We hope you have a merry Christmas, and we'll see you next year! And remember to be excellent to each other, despite the family meals that can turn into shouting matches after too much eggnog. Ciao! 

What about you then? Think you have talent and want to participate in an upcoming illustrated FML? Send us an email to [email protected] not forgetting to give us the address of your blog, or just some of your works.

Hi gang! It's the beginning of the week, it's almost Christmas, you're all depressed about having no friends or family to spend it with, so we thought we'd cheer you up with a picture to caption. We're in full procrastination mode with Santa hats on, so here's a fun little thing to do while you wait to go home. Enjoy!
 

How does this work?

We're giving you a picture to caption. This contains no famous people whatsoever. It's up to you to tell the story behind it, using the "Today, (…) FML" template that we all know and love. Then, according to your votes, and a totally arbitrary choice on our part, we'll post the FML Photo in the category and credit the author of the caption.

The FML Photos are a colourful addition to FML. You can make them legendary. To do so, we're once again appealing to your creativity and sense of humour. Show us what you've got, if you've got it. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to come up with a great caption to go with this photo.

Get on with it. Show us the photo already.

Here it is:

Feeling inspired?
If so, add your suggestions and captions in the comments below, in the best FML style you can think of. The funniest will be published in the FML Photos category, and the author will be showered in the glory of having their name mentioned alongside their creation. Ready? Go!

Subtle warning: Captions posted in response to top-voted captions, or in response to the captions in the first few positions will be disqualified/deleted/hissed at. Comment on the article, not the comments, so your votes actually count!

Our team, as most of you are, is really into gadgets, games and fun stuff to play with. This column will allow you to find out what sort of things we like, what makes us want to run around the office until we're drunk enough to buy stuff but will also give you some ideas for upcoming events like Christmas, birthdays and other parties where gifts are expected. Check 'em out. 

Billy

"I'm not the violent type usually, but these last few days, my kids have been driving me mad with their mad requests for Christmas presents. When I was a kid, all I got was an orange and maybe a cigarette sneaked into the palm of my hand by my grandmother. So, to calm myself down, I've bought myself this punching ball-guy. It's perfect for anyone who wants to take their frustrations out on something that looks vaguely human. It reminds me a bit of my dad, so I can work out other issues. Have fun!"

Pseudoscience at its best

"I love these things. I love anything that science can't explain. These are copper bracelets that have magnets in them, and they can cure all sorts of weird afflictions. Aches and pains, joint problems, sore nipples… you name it, it'll fix it. It's a two pack, so either you can get one for someone who's really suffering, or get it for your parents. They're the ones who usually go for this NaturalNews-level bullshit."

Snooping on the neighbors

"This is a collection of business cards that you can leave lying around or just keep for fun. There's the "Nice parking asshole" variation that you can shove on the windshield of the twunt who keeps parking his SUV-slash-penis compensator in the handicapped bay at the local supermarket, even though he's a jock. Anyway, get this pack of cards for yourself or as a gift, they're a lot of fun. Enjoy yourself!"

2016, don't come again

"Well, it did, didn't it? This t-shirt sums everything up. I mean… David Bowie died, as well as a lot of other great people, I stubbed my toe on my coffee table at least 6 times and Kanye West went absolutely mental. And the less said about Brexit, the US elections and  Garry Shandling dying as well, the better. Let's hope 2017 is better."

Sloth

"I'm a cat. I like to laze around. The thing is, my human has a small apartment, the poor soul, so hiding places and comfy spots are hard to find. I'm often told to get off the various piles of comfy clean clothes, so I was glad when this hammock was installed. It's great. I can sit under a chair and watch ankles go by, idly swatting at them from time to time. Small dogs can also use it, but not in mine thanks."

Eggs eggs eggs eggs

"Someone bought me this, and at first I was like, 'Dude, where's my engagement ring? What's this crap?' But it turns out that if you like eggs, or if you cook enough eggs during the week, it's a godsend. It just slices through the shell and cracking eggs the old fashioned way will just seem quaint. And shit. Get it for your mom as a stocking filler and go with the gender stereotypes." 

Fur sure

"I have two cats and I'm forever cursing at the amount of hair they leave all over the place. Under the couch, on my clothes, it's getting ridiculous. So when a friend gave me this book to stop me whining and to get me to actually do something, it was amazing. I'm on my way to creating a beanie hat to keep my bald head protected from the cold weather. Any cat lover would love this book." 

Banana!

"I love bananas. Bananas are my life. I like to slice them up and put them in vanilla ice cream. This slicer is useful to me because I'm not allowed to use knives anymore, since last time I almost cut my hand off trying to work out how to peel a mango. So now, my mom won't let me use actual knives, she instead got me this simple gadget. It's also a fun stocking filler for anyone who enjoys sliced bananas. It doesn't work with cucumbers or dachshunds." 

That's it for this week. Hope you enjoyed our selection, and maybe even bought a few things! See you soon for some more stuff in the run up til Christmas!

Hello everyone! It's sort of the beginning of the week, everyone's sad and lonely after mourning the end of their life, so we thought we'd cheer you up with a picture to caption. We're in full procrastination mode too, so here's a fun little thing to do while you wait to go home. Enjoy!
 

How does this work?

We're giving you a picture to caption. This contains no famous people whatsoever. It's up to you to tell the story behind it, using the "Today, (…) FML" template that we all know and love. Then, according to your votes, and a totally arbitrary choice on our part, we'll post the FML Photo in the category and credit the author of the caption.

The FML Photos are a colourful addition to FML. You can make them legendary. To do so, we're once again appealing to your creativity and sense of humour. Show us what you've got, if you've got it. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to come up with a great caption to go with this photo.

Get on with it. Show us the photo already.

Here it is:

Feeling inspired?
If so, add your suggestions and captions in the comments below, in the best FML style you can think of. The funniest will be published in the FML Photos category, and the author will be showered in the glory of having their name mentioned alongside their creation. Ready? Go!

Subtle warning: Captions posted in response to top-voted captions, or in response to the captions in the first few positions will be disqualified/deleted/hissed at. Comment on the article, not the comments, so your votes actually count!

We're proud to announce that the FML team has added a new member. So everyone, stand to attention, salute and welcome Cali!

As weird as it may seem, and if you didn't know this already, FML was created and is run in France, so our time zones are quite far apart. We needed someone on the ground in the USA, because that's where most of you lovely people are from. The rest of us, especially me, will be keeping an eye on things so I can still be reached, but Cali is now the US time zones head honcho.

We asked Cali to introduce herself, and this is what she came up with:

"Hi! I'm new to the FML team so please be gentle! Yes, I'm a real live burger-eating, coffee-drinking, freedom-ringing American. When I'm not reciting the pledge of allegiance, I do like to keep active - my favorite sporting event is the Netflix marathon. I'm an animal lover and a lifelong musician (I never travel without my trusty plastic recorder). I think I'm funny but if my jokes get too weird for you, please call me out on it and I'll try to rephrase like a normal human.
Send me a PM with any questions/complaints/ideas... Even compliments if you feel so inclined! Flattery will get you everywhere."

So, now you know. The USA is now represented by a native, and while the US is in bed, the rest of the team will be watching things over from over the pond. So depending on what time it is, either contact Cali or me (Alan). 

Be warned, though, she does fall down a lot. Like here in the Grand Canyon:

So, let's welcome her with open arms, and remember to be nice, she's new. Let's celebrate! As Dr Alban once sang, "Sing Hallelujah!"

S-KRO'S ILLUSTRATED FML

Self-portrait S-Kro by S-Kro
 

This week, S-Kro is back amongst us for another great scientifically correct illustration. He has already been on here many, many times, so you could say he's part of the family. 

His info:

Who are you?
If anyone asks, just tell them that you don't know.

What do you do?
Well, I'm answering your questions.

Where do you come from?
The south of France.

How old are you?
36! (Yes, I've grown a year older since my last illustration for FML)

What's your favourite self-penned illustration? 
I'd have to the one explaining Star Wars scientifically, just because it's the last one I posted. Speaking of which, if anyone knows Roland Lehoucq (the astrophysicist that I quote in the comic), I'd be glad if they'd show it to him. 

Who is your favourite illustrator?
Hmmmm, there's quite few, so it's going to be tough to mention everybody. I'd say that the first that come to mind are Maëster, Coyote, Gotlib, Eric Powell, Toriyama, Todd MacFarlane, Greg Capullo, Eric Herenguel, Fabcaro, Julien Solé, Mo CDM, Monsieur le Chien…
 
Your passion, besides illustrating?
I discovered that science could be exciting and fun thanks to Bill Bryson's books in 2014, and I decided, at my very humble level, to launch myself into popularizing things that I understood (meaning not a lot, actually). I also read a lot of books and scientific articles during my spare time. And comic books too, obviously. 

Your favourite place in the world?
I was going to say something vulgar…

What gets on your nerves?
Loads of things. The list would be too long.

What makes you happy?
Simple things: a child's smile, my friends' laughter, the smell of a forest, the roundness of a pair of breasts… 

Who is your hero?
In the extraordinary people sense, I'd say Nikola Tesla, Richard Feynman or Stephen Hawking, but he's crap at basketball. And to avoid being a misogynist, I'd add Marie Curie, due to two Nobel prizes and lives saved on the battlefields!

Your favourite word?
"Ornithorynque" (French for Platypus), because I know how to spell it, and because it's worth loads of points at Scrabble.

What's your favourite smell?
Freshly cut grass.

The job you wouldnt've liked to have done?
The person who has to eviscerate trout or a worker in a factory line, because I hate repetitive tasks. 

If you had to take a book, a record, a comic book or movie on a desert island, which one would it be?
For the record, it would be a compilation with bands like Motörhead, Slayer, Nirvana, Bowie (yes, that's not a band, I know), Queen, Metallica, classical music (I strongly recommend the 3rd movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, I'm not kidding, it's really good). For the book, "A short history of nearly everything" by Bill Bryson, don't miss it. 

What would you like to sell to us this week?
I don't have anything to sell, not this week anyway…

If God exists, what would you like him to ask you after you die? 
"Hey, so is this how I created the Universe... Oh shit, I just deleted my back-up!" 

That's it for this week, my friends. I'm ready to go on holiday and lounge around avoiding jellyfish. Next week, there might be another illustration. I don't know. But until next time here's a cat and a dog in the snow and a chilled-out cat. Be excellent to each other, and see you soon. 

What about you then? Think you have talent and want to participate in an upcoming illustrated FML? Send us an email to [email protected] not forgetting to give us the address of your blog, or just some of your works.

Our team, as most of you are, is really into gadgets, games and weird stuff to play with. This column will allow you to find out what sort of things we like, what makes us want to run around the office until we're giddy enough to buy, but will also give you some ideas for upcoming events like Christmas, but also birthdays and other parties where gifts are expected. Check 'em out. 

Travelling light

"This Christmas, I'm going to try to avoid being the grumpy guy in the corner who hates his gifts and who thinks that the turkey is too dry. Instead, I'll be teaching the kids bad language from around the world. It'll come in handy when we go on holiday and we're stuck at traffic lights. A fun book for all the family to enjoy, because you can yell out bad language in the middle of your local supermarket, and there's only a 6% chance anyone will understand what you're saying."

Christmas! Cushions!

"Christmas cushions! There's a bunch of them! They've got reindeer and all sorts of Christmas motifs on them! What more do you want? Christmas cushions! Get them now, use them all year round! Christmas! Cushions! Wahey!"

Snooping on the neighbors

"Last week I told you about how to take wide angle photos with your smartphone just by clipping a lense over it. This week it's all about spying on the neighbors. This handy little drone will allow you to do all sorts of LEGAL snooping, and making sure the woman who lives at number 32 is cleaning up after that damn poodle of hers."

Bee the change the world needs

"If like me you're concerned about the environment, you've probably heard that bees are not so hot at the moment. The bees' knees is no longer a symbol of strength and power, due to the dwindling number of these essential creatures. Buy one of these beehive contraptions and hang it in your garden to help the poor fellas out. I'm not sure exactly how it works but every little helps, eh?"

Dress you up in my love

"I did not choose this at all. I don't want to be dressed up in a Santa costume. I'm a cat, I have my dignity. Why would my human ever inflict this on me? However, it also fits on small dogs, and I hate small dogs so feel free to dress yours up in a Santa suit! Seriously though, this is a lot of fun, and cheap too. Because cats have no concept of money."

Not extinct yet

"I was looking for something to get my mom for Christmas, and there's a whole selection of dinosaur stuff available. Like this Brontosaurus ladle! I've decided to go down this gift route because I'm not a very nice person, equating my mom with dinosaurs, but she'll love it. It's a great stocking filler and a good starting point if you're not sure what to get." 

Pictures of you

"This takes me back to the days when cameras were cameras and it took days to get a film developed and the advent of Polaroid instant films was like a modern miracle. This camera will print out your photos and it's even got the trademark stripes… It'll bring a tear to the eye of any nostalgic old man like myself." 

Death star

"I'm going to sound like Margot but: Star Wars. Star. Wars. Check out this Death Star lamp. It looks cool in the dark and it's great if you know someone who's afraid of the dark, not that I am, no, never. Anyway, get this amazing looking lamp for the Star Wars fanatic in your life and they'll love you forever. Star! Wars!"

That's it for this week. Hope you enjoyed our selection, and maybe even bought a few things! See you soon for some more stuff in the run up til Christmas!

Hello everyone! It's the beginning of the week, everyone's sad and lonely after mourning the end of the weekend, so we thought we'd cheer you up with a picture to caption. We're in full procrastination mode too, so here's a fun little thing to do while you wait to go home. Enjoy!
 

How does this work?

We're giving you a picture to caption. This one DOES contain famous people dor once. It's up to you to tell the story behind it, using the "Today, (…) FML" template that we all know and love. Then, according to your votes, and a totally arbitrary choice on our part, we'll post the FML Photo in the category and credit the author of the caption.

The FML Photos are a colourful addition to FML. You can make them legendary. To do so, we're once again appealing to your creativity and sense of humour. Show us what you've got, if you've got it. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to come up with a great caption to go with this photo.

Get on with it. Show us the photo already.

Here it is:

Feeling inspired?
If so, add your suggestions and captions in the comments below, in the best FML style you can think of. The funniest will be published in the FML Photos category, and the author will be showered in the glory of having their name mentioned alongside their creation. Ready? Go!

Subtle warning: Captions posted in response to top-voted captions, or in response to the captions in the first few positions will be disqualified/deleted/hissed at. Comment on the article, not the comments, so your votes actually count!

Our team, as most of you are, is really into gadgets, games and weird stuff to play with. This column will allow you to find out what sort of things we like, what makes us giggle enough to buy, but will also give you some ideas for upcoming events like Christmas, housewarmings, birthdays and other fun things. Check 'em out. 

Give everything eyes

"I'm the kind of dude who likes to spice up my life by giving everything around a face. There's a technical term for it but I can't be bothered to look it up. Anyway, with this selection of 500, yes FIVE HUNDRED googly eyes, you can turn anything into a hysterical face. Or amuse yourself by defacing public property and/or adverts, posters and statues. It's really fun to do."

Fake my life

"As my grandmother used to say, if you can't make it, fake it. I've lived a pretty sheltered life up until now. I've never had a TV so I don't really know what the real world is like outside of the few streets I dare to cross. The first time I met someone with a foreign accent, I almost fainted. Anyway, this book will teach you in a very funny way how to fake your life. How to become a better version of you. Or just get for someone who really needs improvement. It won't be a subtle gift, but it'll go a long way to helping them be less annoying."

Take better selfies

"Ever since cameras have been incorporated into cellphones, the world has gone picture mad. We've been invaded by words like selfies, and the quality of pictures has increased exponentially. I can remember a time when a smartphone photo looked like a drunk robot's rendition of reality in shitty pixels glued together. Now, we can use gadgets like this one: a wide angle lens you just clip over your phone and hey presto, brilliant wide angle photos!"

It's the final countdown

"Ever wondered how long you've got left on that egg you're trying to boil? Ever need to countdown to something but always forget what time you started doing whatever you are doing? Fear no more: this handy gadget has all the major countdown times, you'll know exactly when it's time to take the eggs out of the boiling water because the final countdown has ended! It's really useful for anyone who enjoys time. Avoid getting one for a Timelord, they keeping fucking around with time."

Every home should have one

"It's a scratching post that attaches to the wall! How brilliant is that? I mean, it's everything I need in life, now that I've got Netflix and unlimited access to this thing. Get it for the cat lover in your life, they'll thank you for it because it's a vertical, flat, post, which works much better than the ones you lay out flat!"

Socks appeal

"OK, I think I've already featured something with unicorns on it, but I don't care. Unicorns are cool! As it's winter, sort of, you need socks, loads of socks, and these are pretty on fleek, I got several pairs to avoid running out of them. These will still be fashionable in ten years time, believe me. And they're a great gift for anyone with good taste. Get them now!" 

Waterworks

"I love animals, and not just in a food sense. This fish tank is pretty cool, it looks good in my apartment and it drives my cats wild. I have to cover it up at night to avoid having a disaster on my hands, but during the day it's quite soothing to watch. It's easy to assemble, and doesn't take up too much room. Great gift for kids who want something to take care of." 

Great for kids with brains

"I always try to encourage the kids around me, like my many illegitimate children scattered around the country, to take an interest in science and how things works, basically. So instead of the letting them dismantle the landline phone or the family dog, get them one of these gadgets. There's a whole range of things for them to learn from. I love them, and I'll be getting some more this Xmas!"

That's it for this week. Hope you enjoyed our selection, and maybe even bought a few things! See you soon.

Hello everyone! It's the beginning of the week, everyone's sad and lonely after breaking up with our significant others this weekend, so we thought we'd cheer you up with a picture to caption. We're in full procrastination mode too, so here's a fun little thing to do while you wait to go home. Enjoy!
 

How does this work?

We're giving you a picture to caption. This one DOES contain famous people dor once. It's up to you to tell the story behind it, using the "Today, (…) FML" template that we all know and love. Then, according to your votes, and a totally arbitrary choice on our part, we'll post the FML Photo in the category and credit the author of the caption.

The FML Photos are a colourful addition to FML. You can make them legendary. To do so, we're once again appealing to your creativity and sense of humour. Show us what you've got, if you've got it. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to come up with a great caption to go with this photo.

Get on with it. Show us the photo already.

Here it is:

Feeling inspired?
If so, add your suggestions and captions in the comments below, in the best FML style you can think of. The funniest will be published in the FML Photos category, and the author will be showered in the glory of having their name mentioned alongside their creation. Ready? Go!

Subtle warning: Captions posted in response to top-voted captions, or in response to the captions in the first few positions will be disqualified/deleted/hissed at. Comment on the article, not the comments, so your votes actually count!

PLUME'S ILLUSTRATED FML

Self-portrait Plume by Monster Symphonie
 

This week, it's the turn of Plume, which means feather in French. She's got a special AKA called Monster Symphonie, but it's too much of a mouthful to keep typing it, so I'm going with Plume. She's also new around here, so be kind to her.

Her info:

Age: 19
Location: Somewhere in France
Websites: Her blog et her Tumblr
Her illustrated FML: The one with the question

Who are you?
I'm Plume, an unimportant human being who realized that they had the divine power of creation. Well, for now it's limited to a blank page and a pencil, which is a good start! 

What do you do?
I draw! All the time. It's a like a drug, I can't survive without it more that two days. I also attend an art-history college, hoping that I'll like it in the long run, because I've tried enrolling in art schools, and was always turned down. And I was turned down for a graphic design school. So I think I'm going to stay self-taught.

Where do you come from?
Somewhere in France which specializes in billberries, mirabelle plums, madelines (a special french cake) and blue mountains. 

How old are you? 
19, the age of… nothing really. Nothing happens when you turn 19.

What's your favourite self-penned illustration?
I like this one a lot, it's one of my first erotic comics :

Who is your favourite illustrator?
I've got way too many to mention... OK, I'll pick two different artists:

A self-taught artist who likes butts : Shyle Zalewski

A creepy but cute student : Ghoulkiss

Your passion, besides illustrating?
I also like making personal/decorative objects, sewing dolls and I've recently started learning to play the ukulele! I'm like a creative Swiss Army knife.

Your favourite place in the world?
A bed. In a bed, you're kept warm, it's comfortable, you can cuddle with your pillow and dream of adventures with yur creations. The only drawback is that you have to get out of bed to draw the creations.

What gets on your nerves?
Not knowing when a cyclops is winking or not. We have no way of knowing if they are winking at us, all of the time, and we don't even know! 

What makes you happy?
Creating comic books, creating characters (yes, drawing is my life), monsters and all sorts of creatures, finishing a notebook, listening to music, testing new pearl tea, collection teabags. 

Who is your hero?
I don't really have heroes or inspirational people. I do admire artists who can make a living out of what they do, even if it's a small amount. I hope to be one, one of these days. 

Your favourite word?
"Pluie" ('"Rain" in French). It's grey, luminous and refreshing. We can stay at home in the warmth and watch the leaves fall, wrapped in a plaid with a cup of hot chocolate in my hands 

What's your favourite smell?
Freshly cut grass.

The job you wouldnt've liked to have done?
Something involved with science. I mean, they're very interesting, but I just don't get it. Too many numbers, formulas laws of physics…" 

If you had to take a book, a record, a comic book or movie on a desert island, which one would it be?
The only Cats on Trees album, Belle-Epoque by Elizabeth Ross, the entire collection of Haibane Renmei by Yoshitoshi ABe and Chocola et Vanilla by Moyoco Anno.

What would you like to sell this week?
If I had the means to do so, I'd get sweat shirts with my work printed on them, so I could sell them in my little shop!

If God exists, what would you like him to ask you after you die? 
"Welcome to Heaven, Plume! Can I get an autograph?"

Thats it for this week. Thanks to Plume for taking part this week, and we hope she'll return. OK, so it's now one month away from Christmas. We've only just got over Thanksgiving, and today people are pummeling themselves in the but to get their hands on a shitty TV. So, in that, I'll leave you with an excellent documentary by Adam Curtis, made for the BBC (so it's not some crank on Youtube with a camera talking about how he thinks the world is flat). It's way much better. Oh, and here's something very scary. See you in about 2 weeks, until then, be excellent to each other.  XOXO

What about you then? Think you have talent and want to participate in an upcoming illustrated FML? Send us an email to alan@fmylife.com, not forgetting to give us the URL of your blog, or just some of your works.

Our team is really into gadgets, games and weird objects. This column will allow you to find out what sort of things we like, what makes us giggle enough to buy, but will also give you some ideas for gifts, either for yourself or someone special. Check 'em out. 

It's art, OK?

"Next to my house I have a shed in which I get on with all my DIY projects. I also like to decorate with strange things. This week, I added this picture of a woman with an inhaler to my collection of strange but funny decorations. It's a great talking point if you run out of things to say to whoever you have locked in your shed."

Snail tea

"I love tea. Tea rules. Tea is my life. There's a sort of ritual behind having a cup of tea, which involves hot water, teabags, maybe a spoon or some milk. This week I got myself a pack of these useful little things, which are snails that you attach to your cup, so you can float your teabags with risking any sinking or the string falling into the water. And they're quite pretty, too. Get them for the tea enthusiast in your life."

Fart your way to success

"This is one I've used on the ladies. My conquests. My biatches. Girls love unicorns, they can't get enough of them. They also love candy. This product combines the both, so it's got maximum pulling potential if you give one to a girl you fancy. She'll be all over you like rash. Without actually giving you a rash, unless you're trying to seduce a crack whore. Oh, and kids love these too. Delicious."

Learning to care

"I'm a prerry irresponsible guy. I can't be trusted with anything! My girlfriend wanted to get a cat for our place, a real live cat. Naturally, I was petrified of having to care of it, so she got me in the mindset of taking care of something with this pet rock. It's funny, and makes me want to take care of a cat, so maybe soon I'll have progressed from a rock to a cat. Sounds like the beginning of a joke about evolution-denying creationists, but it's not. The packaging leads me to believe that it would be a great gag gift."

Grind the grass

"I definitely down to chill, most of the time. If there's a piece of wrapping paper stuck under the couch, I could be there for hours. But the relax, I need my catnip. It removes all the stress from my life. But this grinder makes things even easier. It works for all sorts of herbs and spices to increase their potency, so catnip becomes a real bag of fun!"

              Foxy mug

"I love coffee. I love puns. I love swearing at people. I love foxes. This mug was made for ME. So I bought it. It's sturdy, nicely designed and does the job it's supposed to. Consider buying one in tandem with the snail tea clips mentioned above if you're a tea drinker, because they would be perfect together!" 

It's back

"I love reading and sleeping, and I have a serious back injury that means that public transportation is a real nightmare for me. Especially cheap-arse airlines who squeeze the seats so close together for profit that I can't fit my 6ft2 carcass into. This handy gadget makes traveling an enjoyable experience, because you can actually sleep properly. I love it!" 

George Carlin is God

"I love t-shirts with a message. Emma likes one too because it's related to swearing. She's now, like me, a devotee  of the Patron Saint of Profanity, Saint George. George Carlin, obviously. It actually lists the 7 words you (couldn't at the time) say on television. These days you can hear them in most children's TV shows. How times have changed.

That's it for this week. Hope you enjoyed our selection, and maybe even bought a few things! See you soon.

For the people who have never seen this section of FML before: we get sent lots of FMLs, each day, all day. We only publish a few due to the fact that a lot are not very good, copies of old FMLs or just not funny. Amongst those, we also get sent very weird stories, if you can call them stories. That's what we post in this column. Here we go for November's selection.
 

#loveislove 

Today, I love myself. sometimes when I take showers I jump up and down! :-)

Daredevil

go ahead ask me how many painkillers i just took and how many more im about to take. i dare you

Hysterical

my funnys thing ever was went i was 2 year old i wore my dad’s shoes to nursery

My favourite dress

its 725 in the morin and my fuckin liddke couse wont get dress and im dum tired den i have this lady screaming here . Fml

Dog day afternoon

Today… infront of my whole classroom i accidently shouted “Oh my dog!” At that moment i got bitten by the spider that i got scared at and now im sitting im hospital. FML

Pebble Mill

Today I was whacking off in a sock. I felt something hard inside the sock but just whacked it harder. I will have surgery tomorrow for the small pebble in my penis hole. FML

Patrick Duffy strikes again

Today, woke up looked at my phone, saw noo messages, txted patrick ( ex bf) he hasnt respponded!! last nite was he was guna cut if i wldnt go bck wit him but he did me soo bogus idfk wat tah do!!!! he makin me wonder if he did somethin reli bad and is he still alive!!??

Some people will actually agree with this

Today, I found out my sister is gay/lesbian. As a scientists I can’t comprehend why a human could even want another that can’t procreate to, more often than not, better society. On a side note I feel cheated of a biological nephew or niece.

BBall boy

Effing Perverts!!! Those bastards keep passing comments while i play bball!?! WTF! No unity in my batch!?!! WTF is wrong with ppl!?! SELFISH EGOIST EFFING PPL! . I hate this new place , FML :|

Sexy Shrek

Today, I was drawing a “Sexy Shrek” because my friend dared me to. My little brother came in, and, upon seeing the drawing, got a massive erection. FML.

That's it for November. We'll probably be back next month, on the last Wednesday of the month, for some more weirdness because there's plenty more in our backlog. You can probably see some yourself while they are sent in by using the "Moderate the FMLs" feature on our website/app. As usual, these all have been collected from the website right from the very beginning, so don't bother trying to send in your own weird ramblings to try and get them published in here, it won't work. We can spot the phonies. Take care!
 

Bonus track: The dog decides, or you do.

Swear again

Today, FMLers, your call: my dog appears to prefer my daughters used maxi pads over mine. The dog is a bloodhound. I swear I am not making this up.

Hello everyone! It's the beginning of the week, everyone's sad and lonely after breaking up with our significant others this weekend, so we thought we'd cheer you up with a picture to caption. We're in full procrastination mode too, so here's a fun little thing to do while you wait to go home. Enjoy!
 

How does this work?

We're giving you a picture to caption. Nothing containing famous people or anything familiar. It's up to you to tell the story behind it, using the "Today, (…) FML" template that we all know and love. Then, according to your votes, and a totally arbitrary choice on our part, we'll post the FML Photo in the category and credit the author of the caption.

The FML Photos are a colourful addition to FML. You can make them legendary. To do so, we're once again appealing to your creativity and sense of humour. Show us what you've got, if you've got it. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to come up with a great caption to go with this photo.

Get on with it. Show us the photo already.

Here it is:

Feeling inspired?
If so, add your suggestions and captions in the comments below, in the best FML style you can think of. The funniest will be published in the FML Photos category, and the author will be showered in the glory of having their name mentioned alongside their creation. Ready? Go!

Subtle warning: Captions posted in response to top-voted captions, or in response to the captions in the first few positions will be disqualified/deleted/hissed at. Comment on the article, not the comments, so your votes actually count!

S-KRO'S ILLUSTRATED FML

Self-portrait S-Kro by S-Kro
 

This week, S-Kro is back amongst us for another great scientifically correct illustration. He has already been on here many, many times, so you could say he's part of the family. 

His info:

Who are you?
If anyone asks, just tell them that you don't know.

What do you do?
Well, I'm answering your questions.

Where do you come from?
The south of France.

How old are you?
36! (Yes, I've grown a year older since my last illustration for FML)

What's your favourite self-penned illustration? 
I'd have to the one explaining Star Wars scientifically, just because it's the last one I posted. Speaking of which, if anyone knows Roland Lehoucq (the astrophysicist that I quote in the comic), I'd be glad if they'd show it to him. 

Who is your favourite illustrator?
Hmmmm, there's quite few, so it's going to be tough to mention everybody. I'd say that the first that come to mind are Maëster, Coyote, Gotlib, Eric Powell, Toriyama, Todd MacFarlane, Greg Capullo, Eric Herenguel, Fabcaro, Julien Solé, Mo CDM, Monsieur le Chien…
 
Your passion, besides illustrating?
I discovered that science could be exciting and fun thanks to Bill Bryson's books in 2014, and I decided, at my very humble level, to launch myself into popularizing things that I understood (meaning not a lot, actually). I also read a lot of books and scientific articles during my spare time. And comic books too, obviously. 

Your favourite place in the world?
I was going to say something vulgar…

What gets on your nerves?
Loads of things. The list would be too long.

What makes you happy?
Simple things: a child's smile, my friends' laughter, the smell of a forest, the roundness of a pair of breasts… 

Who is your hero?
In the extraordinary people sense, I'd say Nikola Tesla, Richard Feynman or Stephen Hawking, but he's crap at basketball. And to avoid being a misogynist, I'd add Marie Curie, due to two Nobel prizes and lives saved on the battlefields!

Your favourite word?
"Ornithorynque" (French for Platypus), because I know how to spell it, and because it's worth loads of points at Scrabble.

What's your favourite smell?
Freshly cut grass.

The job you wouldnt've liked to have done?
The person who has to eviscerate trout or a worker in a factory line, because I hate repetitive tasks. 

If you had to take a book, a record, a comic book or movie on a desert island, which one would it be?
For the record, it would be a compilation with bands like Motörhead, Slayer, Nirvana, Bowie (yes, that's not a band, I know), Queen, Metallica, classical music (I strongly recommend the 3rd movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, I'm not kidding, it's really good). For the book, "A short history of nearly everything" by Bill Bryson, don't miss it. 

What would you like to sell to us this week?
I don't have anything to sell, not this week anyway…

If God exists, what would you like him to ask you after you die? 
"Hey, so is this how I created the Universe... Oh shit, I just deleted my back-up!" 

That's it for this week, my friends. I'm ready to go on holiday and lounge around avoiding jellyfish. Next week, there might be another illustration. I don't know. But until next time here's Japan repairing a sinkhole in 7 days and a shit place for a hand dryer. Be excellent to each other, and see you soon. 

What about you then? Think you have talent and want to participate in an upcoming illustrated FML? Send us an email to [email protected] not forgetting to give us the address of your blog, or just some of your works.

Our team is really into gadgets, games and weird objects. This column will allow you to find out what sort of things we like, what makes us giggle enough to buy, but will also give you some ideas for gifts, either for yourself or someone special. Check 'em out. 

Where have you been?
 

"I really love foreign countries, traveling abroad and discovering new cultures. I've been all over the world, so this map is great fun for keeping tabs on the countries I've been to by scratching them out. I almost used it for checking all the countries I'd had sex in, but it wouldn't have as much fun."

Wipe the pain away
 

"Everyone uses toilet paper. Well, unless you're from some distant tribe in the Amazon, or someone stuck in woods with only poison ivy nearby. And fun, printed toilet paper can be quite a giggle. I chose this one because of obvious reasons. And I can do to the paper what he'll be doing to the USA over the next four years."

My F(ML) life
 

"I've been ill recently so I've been stuck at home with my mom, who doesn't have a TV or the internet. So I went out and bought this book, which is hysterically funny, and reminds me of the last time I was at school, on my 13th birthday. I was terrible at school stuff, so this funny book brought back many strange memories."

I've used it 79 times today
 

"Ever feel annoyed, whether at work, or at home, but mainly at work, this is the fun gadget you should be getting. It's a button you can press whenever you feel like life is getting you down, or just to get someone to shut up. Carry it around with you, it can do all the talking for you!"

Catwoman returns
 

"My human tried to get my girlfriend to try these on, and she duly complied. It seems that humans get turned on by this sort of thing. All I see is a flesh-filled scratching post, which got me into trouble when I tried to test my theory out. Get them for that extra pussy sexiness. Or something like that."

Can't get rid of the smell of failure, though
 

"My place stinks. It's awful. I live over a vegan restaurant and the stench that emanates from that place is unbearable. Added to that, my current boyfriend is trying to keep warm by eating cheese fondues non-stop. So this stuff is perfect for making your bathroom smell nice, but not in a shitty "Pinecone hanging on a rear-view mirror" way. Get it if you want your bathroom, and home, to smell better than a dumpster.  

Hipster's paradise

"This selection is a bit more expensive than the rest but no too much. If you enjoy music and like the sound of crackling vinyl, or want to convert your mum's old Duran Duran records into mp3 files, this thing can do it. "

Cleanliness is nuts

"This is funny AND useful. What more could you want from life ? It's great when, like me you have to take the dirty subway to work every morning, and I can't do that without cupping my nuts, so when I get to the office I whip out my hand sanitizer and the day can begin. Also works as a gag gift, or a gift to someone who needs to get the message about their personal hygiene."

That's it for this week. Hope you enjoyed our selection, and maybe even bought a few things! See you soon.

Hello everyone! It's the beginning of the week, everyone's bummed out so we thought we'd cheer you up with a picture to caption. We don't feel like working either, so here's a fun little thing to do. Enjoy!
 

How does this work?

We're giving you a picture to caption. Nothing containing famous people or anything familiar. It's up to you to tell the story behind it, using the "Today, (…) FML" template that we all know and love. Then, according to your votes, and a totally arbitrary choice on our part, we'll post the FML Photo in the category and credit the author of the caption.

The FML Photos are a colourful addition to FML. You can make them legendary. To do so, we're once again appealing to your creativity and sense of humour. Show us what you've got, if you've got it. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to come up with a great caption to go with this photo.

Get on with it. Show us the photo already.

Here it is:

Feeling inspired?
If so, add your suggestions and captions in the comments below, in the best FML style you can think of. The funniest will be published in the FML Photos category, and the author will be showered in the glory of having their name mentioned alongside their creation. Ready? Go!

Subtle warning: Captions posted in response to top-voted captions, or in response to the captions in the first few positions will be disqualified/deleted/hissed at. Comment on the article, not the comments, so your votes actually count!

Hello everyone! It's the beginning of the week, everyone's bummed out so we thought we'd cheer you up with a picture to caption. We don't feel like working either, so here's a fun little thing to do. Enjoy!
 

How does this work?

We're giving you a picture to caption. Nothing containing famous people or anything familiar. It's up to you to tell the story behind it, using the "Today, (…) FML" template that we all know and love. Then, according to your votes, and a totally arbitrary choice on our part, we'll post the FML Photo in the category and credit the author of the caption.

The FML Photos are a colourful addition to FML. You can make them legendary. To do so, we're once again appealing to your creativity and sense of humour. Show us what you've got, if you've got it. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to come up with a great caption to go with this photo.

Get on with it. Show us the photo already.

Here it is:

Feeling inspired?
If so, add your suggestions and captions in the comments below, in the best FML style you can think of. The funniest will be published in the FML Photos category, and the author will be showered in the glory of having their name mentioned alongside their creation. Ready? Go!

Subtle warning: Captions posted in response to top-voted captions, or in response to the captions in the first few positions will be disqualified/deleted/hissed at. Comment on the article, not the comments, so your votes actually count!

Our team is really into gadgets, games and weird objects. This column will allow you to find out what sort of things we like, what makes us giggle enough to buy, but will also give you some ideas for gifts, either for yourself or someone special. Check 'em out. 

My little buddy

"I'm into all things that make my house look great, so this little guy is a perfect companion for the rest of my little army of men stationed outside my front door, as well as inside the house. As you can tell, I like having people drop by unannounced, so having this right by the front door really sends a message to people thinking that they come along whenever they please. Also makes a great gift for someone who won't get the message."

My feet are horny

"I'm well aware that these are unicorn slippers. So what?! I think they look cool, and as the nights are getting as cold as a witch's tit around my way, they're great for keeping my hairy-toed feet warm. They're available in one-size-fits-all so they make a great gift for someone how also likes to lounge around the house watching TV while eating cereal."

My teeth are worth it

"Sometimes, when I get back to my mom's place in the middle of the night, she likes to check I haven't been out smoking with my posse, my crew. So, to avoid all accusations of wrongdoing, I got myself this toothpaste. It has a cupcake flavor, so my mom thinks I've been out stuffing my face with cupcakes, instead of just hanging around the stairwell, smoking jazz cigarettes."

Nice cuppa shite

"This week I selected this mug because I've been quite ill, vomiting from both ends, so it's kind of appropriate that I'd be drinking coffee out of a toilet. It's a funny gift too, but I'm keeping mine on my desk to remind me of the day I soldiered on at work despite having the squits."

I have no thumbs

"This is a game for humans. Humans that like to wrestle, and it's only available to people with opposable thumbs. I'm a cat, which means that I don't have any thumbs so I can't play. Maybe the next evolutionary step will allow a strain of cats to develop thumbs, but for now I'm stuck watching my human try and beat his friends in this miniature ring. Get it for yours."

I'm the firestarter, twisted firestarter

"I'm usually quite high maintenance, but surprisingly I like camping. The great outdoors, tents and massive sleeping bags. But to be able to camp, you need to know how to make fire. None of that rubbing bits of woods for hours shit for me. I've got one of these neat flints that will set alight any bunches of sticks or paper. Get it for your 18-year-old layabout son as a hint that it's time to move out of your house into a tent and make it on his own." 

A classic LP

"No joking around this time. This week I've selected a classic album from 1977, the first album by the duo called Suicide. It influenced many people, and the singer was also called Alan. If you're not terrified by the end of 'Frankie Teardrop', you're clearly emotionless. Get it now, because it's a must-have of any decent record collection. M.I.A. knows, she sampled 'Ghost Rider' to then bellow all over it."

I like to booze it up

"I've recently set my sights on becoming a functioning alcoholic. It's a step up from what I was going before, ie. studying marketing. So, to start myself out, I got this hand belt buckle flask, which I fill with cheap wine to sip during the day. I hope to move onto the harder stuff soon, like fortified wine, or vermouth. I'm going places! Makes a great gift for the boozehound in your family."

That's it for this week. See you next week, same place, same time for some new and cool stuff we've seen floating around the internet!