“How do I pray for my kids?”

Steve Brown:
How do I pray for my kids? The answer to that and other questions on Key Life.

Matthew Porter:
Key Life exists to communicate that the deepest message of Jesus and the Bible is the radical grace of God to sinners and suffers. Life’s hard for everyone. So grace is for all of us, but there is a lot of confusion about how grace applies to real life. So here’s seminary professor and author, Steve Brown and Pete Alwinson to answer your questions.

Steve Brown:
Thank you Matthew. Hi Pete.

Pete Alwinson:
Hey man. Happy Friday.

Steve Brown:
You still pray for your kids?

Pete Alwinson:
I do, almost every day.

Steve Brown:
I do too. I do every day, that’s cause I’m more spiritual than you are.

Pete Alwinson:
Well, you are. I mean, I do. I do.

Steve Brown:
They’re grown and mine are grown too. And uh, but they’re always your children.

Pete Alwinson:
That’s right.

Steve Brown:
There’s always this special concern for them.

Pete Alwinson:
That’s right. Once a dad, always a dad.

Steve Brown:
It really is. Once a mom, always a mom.

Pete Alwinson:
Yup.

Steve Brown:
Hey, listen, that’s Pete Alwinson. If you haven’t read his book Like Father, Like Son, go get it. You’ll be glad that I told you about it. It’s an amazing book and go to ForgeBibleStudy.com also, that’s the website of the Forge ministry, and you will find so much good there. Pete comes in on Fridays and we have for years been answering questions and we love to get your questions. You can ask you a question, 24 seven, by calling 1-800-KEY-LIFE. We record your question and then sometimes put your voice on the air. Or you can write

Key Life Network
P.O. Box 5000
Maitland, Florida 32794

If you live in Canada, it’s

Key Life Canada
P.O. Box 28060
Waterloo, Ontario N2L 6J8

Or you can email your question to [email protected]. And those are touched places where, if God moves you to help us out financially, you can do it easily. And if you can please do, uh, most of the people who’d benefit by this ministry and it’s an expensive one, are not able to help us financially. So there’s a sense in which when you do, you help out your brothers and sisters in Christ. And I promise we’ll be faithful with it. We’re a not for profit corporation and our books are always open. So help us, if you can, if you can’t say a prayer for us. And Pete, you say prayer for us too, and then we’ll answer some of these questions.

Pete Alwinson:
Alright. Sounds good. Our Holy God. We come into your presence today on his Friday. What a joy to stop for a minute to remember that you are the sovereign King of heaven and earth and that we are your beloved children. Lord Jesus, thank you for coming and being our sacrifice. Thank you for being the one who fulfilled the law perfectly for us and then took the curse for us and we couldn’t help ourselves. And so we honor you. We praise you. We, we thank you that you are the are the direct cause that we could become children of the living God. Holy spirit, we ask that you would fill us every day with that sense of a new identity as beloved daughters and sons. We pray that you would just fill us with joy, knowing that that our life is in your hand and that we have a great future with you. Fill us with joy. We pray as we focus upon your grace, even this weekend as we worship. And even as we talk with each other here now about questions that your people have given us, we pray that you would give us wisdom and by your spirit enlighten the eyes of our heart, help us to understand your truth, that will set us free every day of our life. Thank you for your goodness. And we pray these things in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Steve Brown:
Amen. Pete, why don’t we first go to our phone lines.

Caller 1:
We have an adult son and his wife that are rejected their faith, and they used to be strong Christians and believers, but now they don’t believe. And I just want to know how we can help them or counsel them, or I know we’re praying for them all the time and just allowing, um, loving them unconditionally, but we just need to have some guidance on how to approach this. Thank you.

Steve Brown:
Oh, I’m so sorry. We hear that a lot. And that’s a hard place to be and you’re not going to like what I’m going to tell you. There isn’t a thing you can do. I mean, you can’t fix it. And that in a sense is a gift, because it only leaves you one thing and that’s the love them. You can’t tell them anything. They haven’t heard a thousand times. You can’t get somebody real smart to talk to them. And win their arguments, because their arguments are not rational, they’re emotional. And you can’t do a thing, but there is hope. And that is that God loves your kids more than you do. So you go to him, Monica, who was the mother of Augustine. That’s a great story.

Pete Alwinson:
Great story, yeah.

Steve Brown:
Great story. She grabbed him by the ear and pulled him into the church and up to the alter and made him kneel. And while she was spraying, he backed out without her knowing it left, got on the ship and went to live a life of total paganism, just destroying his mother. She didn’t see him for years. And when she saw him, he was a Bishop and was welcomed as the Bishop and she was blown away. And the great thing about this story was what her confessor told her when she would do the same that our friend just asked. He said, the child of so many mother’s prayers cannot be lost. And there’s something to that.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah, there is.

Steve Brown:
This covenant child thing.

Pete Alwinson:
I love that. I love it. Yeah. You said it, you know, just keep praying, never give up. And uh, and, and that’s, that’s a sacrifice in a service, but you’re not alone. Find, find another family, find another

Steve Brown:
That’s good.

Pete Alwinson:
lady that’s going through that and join together.

Steve Brown:
We need each other.

Pete Alwinson:
We do. We do.

Steve Brown:
That is a, that’s a good comment. We can’t do this alone. And it’s awful. You know, we’re not making light. It’s just terrible. There’s nothing worse. You know, when, uh, when, uh, John said that his children were walking it and that I understood that. That’s a great thing.

Pete Alwinson:
That’s what we want. Yeah, a Christian family, you want your kids.

Steve Brown:
But you can’t fix it. And by trying to fix it, you’ll make it worse. So just love them and just love them. Don’t try to fix it. And pray. Pete and I have, Pete, not nearly as long as I have, but we’ve both been around the block.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah. Yeah.

Steve Brown:
We’ve been here a long time. And I can’t tell you the number of kids that we have seen that have been in the far country and came home. And sometimes they came home after their parents died. So you may not see it, but I believe Jesus will tell you in heaven. So you’ll know.

Pete Alwinson:
That’s right.

Steve Brown:
Uh, but boy, it happens all the time.

Pete Alwinson:
We, we serve a faithful master,

Steve Brown:
That’s true.

Pete Alwinson:
and he’s overseeing our kids.

Steve Brown:
And listen, you’ve, uh, Fred Smith used to tell me this. You give kids a compass and, and you gave it to them when they were growing up and they can’t get rid of it.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah.

Steve Brown:
They’ll try to get rid of it. They’ll try to shake it. Pretend it’s not there, but they can’t get rid of it. And so rest that you’ve done that, be still, trust God, and love your kids. Bake them pies, say nice things to them. Uh, laugh at her jokes. Just love them and see what God does.

Pete Alwinson:
There you go.

Steve Brown:
This is an email, uh, due to the sin nature in us. Is it possible to be without sin, even for a moment, this side of glory?

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah. What do you think? That’s an interesting question, for a minute.

Steve Brown:
I did okay, the last minute.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah, you have, you have, you know.

Steve Brown:
I haven’t done anything that I need to repent of in the last, Oh man, it’s been 20 minutes.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah.

Steve Brown:
You know, we we’re, we’re the person, excuse me. The person who answered, who asked this question is so human. You know, we want to keep count. You know, when I wrote that book Three Free Sins, that drove people nuts.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah.

Steve Brown:
But you know, some people were crazy. One guy bought three of them. He said, if I had more money, I’d buy more, but this at least gives me nine free sins. And when I get some money, I’m gonna go buy some more. And I want to say, that’s not what I’m saying,

Pete Alwinson:
Right.

Steve Brown:
you nut. And, but we want to keep count. Am I better than I was bad? And that’s irrelevant.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think, you know, what the, what the new, the, you know, could we be right now without sin for a couple of minutes? Yeah, sure. But what the New Testament is concerned that we focus on, as I see it, is that we understand and rest in completely the work of Christ and this I think was what you’ve been teaching. This is what the grace is.

Steve Brown:
What Luther taught.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah. So that, so that really, we’re not resting in, I am perfect right now in this second.

Steve Brown:
Yeah.

Pete Alwinson:
But I am perfect because of the work of Christ, all the time. And, and that’s what energizes a sanctification. That’s what energizes growth, when we, when we rest in the grace that we have in Christ,

Steve Brown:
That’s so good. Jack Miller said that one of the, well, you’ve heard me say it and you’ve heard lots of people say it, a number of times that their Christian faith is about two sentences, cheer up, you’re a lot worse than you think you are.

Pete Alwinson:
[Laughing]

Steve Brown:
And cheer up, God’s grace is a lot bigger than you think it is.

Pete Alwinson:
Yup.

Steve Brown:
Um, I’m not necessarily in agreement with your statement. God’s not mad at you. Doesn’t God hate the sin within us? And isn’t he mad and saddened when we sin?

Pete Alwinson:
Well.

Steve Brown:
You know. If what you said is just true, and it is clearly taught in scripture. How can they be mad at his own son? Uh, if you’re clothed in the righteousness of Christ, and stand before the judgment seat of God, totally perfect. Why would he be mad at you? Now, is God happy about your sinning and saying, go ahead, and just sin. Have a good… No, of course not. He’s a father, but you know, we listened to this lady that called earlier and was asking about how she prayed for children.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah.

Steve Brown:
She’s not angry. You didn’t hear her cussing and spitting. She wasn’t saying I’m going to get a gun, cause it’s better they die, then they not live for Christ.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah.

Steve Brown:
You don’t see that going on.

Pete Alwinson:
Nope.

Steve Brown:
That’s a child abuser. She had tears and God knows, God, you don’t surprise God with your sin. You know, the scripture teaches that the God of the universe weeps and that’s what the cross is all about. It’s a sad thing. And I think when we get home, he’s going to say, if I could have done it in another way, I would have done it. But you lived in the best possible world, that I could create given my desire.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah. Yeah. And, and I think, um, when we say, and that’s really, uh, a theme of what we do here at Key Life, that God’s not angry at us. God’s not mad at us.

Steve Brown:
Yeah.

Pete Alwinson:
He isn’t. That, uh, and, and, and yet we sometimes want to humanize God, so that, you know, like, like you might be mad at me if I ran into your car, you know,

Steve Brown:
Yeah [Laughing]

Pete Alwinson:
for a second or so.

Steve Brown:
Yeah right.

Pete Alwinson:
We over humanize God, sometimes.

Steve Brown:
We don’t have much time, but is God mad at unbelievers?

Pete Alwinson:
He’s angry at their sin.

Steve Brown:
And maybe even at them.

Pete Alwinson:
That’s right. So yes.

Steve Brown:
Yeah. The wrath of God is poured out on unbelief.

Pete Alwinson:
That’s right.

Steve Brown:
But we’re not saying that God never gets angry.

Pete Alwinson:
Right.

Steve Brown:
We’re just saying, gotta be careful here. Most Christians think that God is angry at them.

Pete Alwinson:
That’s really true.

Steve Brown:
They really do.

Pete Alwinson:
If I do that, God will be ticked.

Steve Brown:
Or I did it and God is really ticked.

Pete Alwinson:
Yeah, yeah.

Steve Brown:
Or I did it when I was eight years old and God has never forgiven me.

Pete Alwinson:
That’s right.

Steve Brown:
Or I, my wife’s mad, but she’s not half as mad as God. No, that’s not true.

Pete Alwinson:
Steve. He may love you, but I’m his favorite. [Laughing]

Steve Brown:
[Laughing] We got to go. But first Key Life is a listener supported production of Key Life Network.